Do we have God’s permission to get mad? Some Christians disapprove of anger, as though ire and irritation violate the will of God. But anger is an emotional reaction, sometimes inappropriate but other times justified. The Lord doesn’t rule out fury; He instructs how to deal with it. It’s okay to get angry, but this statement comes with an asterisk.
“Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. 5Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.” – Psalm 4:4-5 (NKJV)
God gives us permission to be angry, if we do not use it as an excuse to sin. This can be tricky, because anger is powerful and it’s hard to control.
So what should we do? Not much! When we get mad, we’re to meditate and keep still. To meditate means to contemplate or ponder, so what are our minds supposed to chew on? The Bible tells us–the Bible!
“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” – Joshua 1:8 (NKJV)
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night.” – Psalm 1:1-2 (NKJV)
“I will meditate on Your precepts, and contemplate Your ways.” – Psalm 119:15 (NKJV)
And when are we supposed to do this? Since the psalmist says to meditate “on your bed,” he must be referring to nighttime.
Think of it this way. If something happened during the day that provoked you, the Lord doesn’t want you to go to sleep stewing about it. Through reflection and stillness, we ground our emotions in God’s character and power. As a result, the situation doesn’t dominate us; He does.
We honor God by offering Him what He wants. When we’re offended, it’s most often because we didn’t get what we wanted. It’s easy to focus on ourselves, but the Lord wants us to look to Him. We’re encouraged to talk to God, think about Him (or at least think in front of Him), and trust Him.
To summarize, then, the Lord grants us the freedom to get upset as long as we don’t cross the line. To steer clear of sin, we are to calm ourselves, detach, and meditate on God’s goodness and wisdom. Who He is to us and what He thinks about our situation will help us recognize and choose the right response.
So far, so good. But over in the New Testament, the apostle Paul quotes this admonition from the psalmist, and adds a twist.
“Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another. 26‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27nor give place to the devil.” – Ephesians 4:25-27 (NKJV)
Paul situates the reality of anger between characters who aggravate us: liars and the devil (but I repeat myself!). This tells me that honest communication can stave off rage, quarrels, and accusations. Christians must be sincere because we belong to each other (as Paul points out when he quotes Zechariah 8:16). Truthfulness feeds relationships; lying poisons them.
With that in mind, Paul quotes Psalm 4:4 and emphasizes the notion of permissible anger. What would make us angry in this context? It must be the issue of deception raised in the previous verse. Few things will push our buttons like people trying to mislead us. It’s difficult to let go.
The psalmist told us to take such matters to God before we fell asleep. Paul appears to truncate the process, warning us to deal with it before sunset. That’s early! What’s he getting at?
We can take this in a literal fashion, we’re under orders to work through a problem before we finish our day’s chores. But sometimes we’re not sure about why we’re angry or what upset us. And now it seems like we have almost no time to correct ourselves.
We can also take Paul’s statement as a spiritual insight. Rather than referring to daylight, he is directing us to awareness. When the lights are on, we can observe what’s around us, but at night, it’s hard to see.
In other words, we can take Paul’s advice as an encouragement to pursue awareness in all its components. We grow in self-awareness and openness toward others. We also stand alert against the schemes of the devil (see 2 Corinthians 2:11).
Darkness, a lack of awareness and insight, is the devil’s home turf. It’s where he works best. To hold him off, we’re challenged to seek the light of Jesus Christ. Regardless of whether we like what He shows us, at least we’ll have the truth. And we can process our anger better when we have the Lord’s perspective on the matter.
So yes, it’s okay for disciples of Jesus to get angry*. But remember the asterisk! At those times, draw close to the Lord and learn from Him how to respond in illuminating and healing ways. A big challenge, but one we can handle through God’s grace.
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