A friend asked me about the meaning of Proverbs 14:10. Since I didn’t know the verse off the top of my head, I had to look it up. Here it is in the New American Standard Bible:
“The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.”
Ouch! As Mark Twain remarked, “It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I don’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.”
What disturbed me was a thought (can’t remember the source) that sprung to mind: “we are always alone.”
I tried to disagree because I don’t want that to be the meaning of the proverb. Who wants to be alone all the time? Even we introverts enjoy some companionship. (But not too much!)
Is that how we’ve been living all along? Have we always been lonely yet refused to acknowledge it? Does no one understand us?
To quash my worries and put myself at ease, I marshalled opposing forces:
“Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” – Hebrews 13:5
Even if others abandon us, Jesus never will. As Paul recounts,
“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.” – 2 Timothy 4:16-17
Paul’s experience illustrates an insight by Paulo Coelho: “in life’s most significant moments, we are always alone.”
And not just in those major circumstances that irrupt sporadically. Loneliness pervades our lives. Marilyn Monroe lamented that “I am alone; I am always alone no matter what.” How could someone idolized by millions feel isolated?
Proverbs 14:10! She was surrounded by adoring fans, none of whom recognized her bitterness or her joy.
Carl Jung observed that “loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”
If loneliness is the disease, communication is the cure. And that’s why God sent us His Son. John describes Jesus as God’s “Word.”
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” – John 1:1
“And the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” – John 1:14
We learn who God is by listening to Jesus Christ. And His love, which culminated at the cross and the resurrection, liberates us to share ourselves with others.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 13:34
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” – Romans 12:15
Love others, even if no one reciprocates. Dare to go first. Show you care by commiserating or celebrating with them. In the words of the prayer ascribed to Saint Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Demanding? Yes! Difficult? True, especially for the lonely. But remember this:
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:11
Proverbs 14:10 describes us, but the love of Jesus defines us. That’s something worth sharing.
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