Growing in Love

According to Reformation leader John Calvin, “Our wisdom, in so far as it ought to be deemed true and solid Wisdom, consists almost entirely of two parts: the knowledge of God and of ourselves. But as these are connected together by many ties, it is not easy to determine which of the two precedes and gives birth to the other.”

Centuries earlier, Bernard of Clairvaux addressed this question as it pertains to the subject of love.

In his treatise, On Loving God, the medieval saint outlined progressive degrees of loving. Through God’s grace, we can develop in love as we seek perfection in Christ. Let’s explore each stage to discover where we’re at in our spiritual development and where the Lord wants to take us. The destination may surprise us.

Loving Self for Self’s Sake

In the beginning of our growth, we use everything as a means to please our self-interests. We can interpret this attitude as infantile or selfish, but either way, we’re preoccupied with ourselves.

Bernard ascribes this to the frailty of human nature and to the principle that nature precedes spirituality.

“The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.” – 1 Corinthians 15:46

If we entertain thoughts of God at all, we treat Him as a tool to take care of us. That’s the extent of the time and attention we give Him.

“For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” – Philippians 2:21

But through the trials and blessings of life, we start to tune into the existence and supreme value of God. Bernard observes that a person at this level, “animal and carnal by nature, and loving only himself, begins to love God by reason of that very self-love; since he learns that in God he can accomplish all things that are good, and that without God he can do nothing.”

The significance of the spiritual emerges. The beauty and goodness of the Lord captivate us. And so we journey to a higher stage.

Loving God for Self’s Sake

At this degree, we remain self-oriented, but we’re wiser than before. Here, we recognize God’s incomparable value. But we do so because we’ve learned to appreciate how He provides for us.

“I love the LORD, because He hears My voice and my supplications.” – Psalm 116:1 (NASB)

The Lord becomes our priority because we ache for His presence and power. Without Him, we waste away and die.

“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” – Psalm 63:1

As we stick to this path, our focus on God becomes all-encompassing.

Loving God for God’s Sake

In a deep level of repentance, we change the orientation of our lives. Bernard explains that “No longer do we love God because of our necessity, but because we have tasted and seen how gracious the Lord is.”

“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” – Psalm 34:8

We still appreciate the blessings of the Lord and the way He intervenes in our lives, but we care more about His presence.

“When You said, ‘Seek My face,’ my heart said to You, ‘Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.’” – Psalm 27:8 (NASB)

We’ve become Christ-centered; He now dominates us.

“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.” – Philippians 1:20

“He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.” – Colossians 1:18 (NASB)

We offer our total selves to God; no reservations, no hesitation. Through Jesus, we have the ability to fulfill what He designated the greatest commandment.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” – Mark 12:30

Loving Self for God’s Sake

We assume that the third stage represents the apex of spiritual growth, so this addition seems odd. At the prior degree, we fixate on God, which is proper for us as created beings. It’s why God created us, isn’t it?

Why change?

When we grow in loving God, we learn to love what He loves. And hard as this may be to accept, He loves us. To love God, then, we must love ourselves.

But don’t we have flaws, sins, defects? How can we love ourselves when we fall short of the perfection which the Law demands and Christ demonstrates?

Bernard explains that “The soul may hope to possess the fourth degree of love, or rather to be possessed by it, only when it has been clothed upon with that spiritual and immortal body, which will be perfect, peaceful, lovely, and in everything wholly subjected to the spirit.”

We reach the highest love at the resurrection. When God completes our salvation and makes us like Jesus in full measure, we will love ourselves without issue. Bernard writes, “The fourth degree of love is attained for ever when we love God only and supremely, when we do not even love ourselves except for God’s sake; so that He Himself is the reward of them that love Him, the everlasting reward of an everlasting love.”

Application

Where are you at in your spiritual growth in love? How is God working in your heart to advance you? Does this frighten you or are you excited about the metamorphosis?

For the Christian, love is an adventure we embark on with Jesus. As we travel with Him, we find ourselves transformed. Our love deepens as it finds freedom to devote itself without limits. Jesus our Lord becomes our life.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

PS – I didn’t realize that today is National Selfie Day, but it is! I don’t think this is what Bernard had in mind, but you never know!